• Well here we have a little ditty from Brain Pan. My responses will be in bold within the text. We had fun with this gentle reader!

  • From: Brain Pan

    "Your recent comment to me at the Squirrels Island
    got me to thinking, you said that I do rather
    well when I am being an asshole. Of course, the
    compliment from you was well received, and I am glad
    that you noticed. But, I was wondering if you might
    want to expand upon that idea a little.

    So what do you think, am I merely excessively
    assholish, or would you say that I am superbly,
    magnificently, and splendidly assholish?"

    Depends on your mood, and who you are going after. But I think you have potential. Really you can be anus supremicus if you really practice.

    "You know, Squirrel, I will admit to a not so gruding
    respect for your opinion on matters of great
    importance, and whether I am exquisitely assholish is
    of paramount importance to me!"

    Okay you are an asshole in the most extreme levels. Actually, you make very valid points in your posts.
    That alone would make you an asshole to a lot of people.

    "Allow me to explain. I took a band class in high
    school, and my teacher said that mediocrity is a sin.
    I think he said that in reaction to how mediocre our
    playing was. None of us were great, but we didnt
    totally suck either, that made us very uninteresting.

    Anyway, he said that you should be the very best or be
    the very worst at something, that mediocrity was
    stifling to creative thought and just a bummer
    generally. I really took that lesson to heart, what he
    said about mediocrity is right."

    I would tend to agree. I always attempt to get away from mediocre, and just go for major asshole.
    I have actually given up on the whole rational conversation thing about religion and anything. It pointless, and
    now I just go for asshole and sarcastic asshole.. I am slowly improving I think. Know what I mean? Being the ass is all about me, and I am all about being the ass.

    "Anyway, because of my lackadaisical nature, I have
    become, not the uebermensch of Nietszche's
    imagination, nor the inferior man of hitlers rantings,
    but instead I have become...average, undistinguished,
    not marked by glory, honor, OR, infamy. (if you have
    actually read to this point, could you give me the
    German words for 'lesser man' and 'average man'?)"

    untermensch, durchschnitzmensch

    "But see? Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel
    for me, maybe at last I have found something that I
    can excel at. Maybe it was my calling in life to
    become the quintessential asshole, the archetypal
    asshole, to join the zeitgeist of pure assholism, to
    be recognized as an equal, or at least as a
    by the assholes of elite status."

    Well then my son, embrace the ass, and live for the ass. Be the ass.
    You may thank me for allowing your to see your true calling. We can don a new word for you as well:
    how does that sound?
    Oh wait my calling in this life is to be the überasshole. Sorry, but you cannot be me.

    "Now we arrive at last to the most important part of
    this letter. You sir, have the ability to be a
    complete asshole, but make no mistake, I mean that as
    a compliment. I would consider your ability to be an
    asshole to be truly remarkable, a thing to be admired,
    and I certainly do admire it! So, as an elite in the
    field, how do I rate? I most humbly beg your sincere

    You have potential. Being an expert on being an asshole, I can tell you that you have potential.
    Lots of it. You can be an asshole. And with practice you too can be a bigger one. Not as big as me, mind you,
    but big in your own way. It does take a wee bit of work though, and intestinal fortitude. But you appear to have these
    characteristics. I can dig it.

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