That's GOD!!!!

Greetings gentle reader! Once again more happy god stuff from the Squirrel!! Have you ever opened your e-mail to find one of those sappy sucky "inspirational" god mumbo jumbo mails? I know I have, and boy do I hate those mails! Well, some friends of mine on the Ex-tian List received the same type of mails, and decided to do the right thing about the madness!! SPOOOOF them! And now for your reading pleasure I present: That's God!

(From Squirrel!)
Have you ever had the urge to kill a witch...THAT'S GOD..., as he moves you to kill those evil vile nasty women!

Have you ever been sitting at a red light and then an accident happens... THAT'S GOD... making it for your entertainment! Man how the one guy flew off the bike!

Have you ever felt moved to speak in tongues, and it comes out as racial slurs... THAT'S GOD... giving you the courage to speak your heart.

Have you ever felt moved to call an old friend and remind the bastard to pay you the 20 bucks he owes you from ten years ago... THAT'S GOD.... if those Amalekites can get it 400 years later, so can you!

Have you wanted something so bad you lied to get it... THAT'S GOD... just like the lying spirit he sent to his other children.

Have you ever lashed out against a few neighborhood kids with your shiny new chainsaw for making fun of your lisp... THAT'S GOD... just likes those damned kids who made fun of Elisha.

Have you ever seen a homeless person and laughed at the poor bastard.... THAT'S GOD..... hardening your heart just like he did Pharaoh..

(From Bob A.)

Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like
doing something nasty to someone...THAT'S GOD...he talks to you through the
Holy Spirit.

Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to
talk to...THAT'S GOD ... He must want you to be lonely, and he's screwing
with your circumstances...

Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long
time - like the old girlfriend from hell... and then next thing you know
you see them or receive a phone call from them...THAT'S GOD...there is no
such thing as "coincidence."

Have you ever received something that you didn't even ask for, like an
unexpected bill, a debt that had mysteriously grown, or a coupon to a
department store where you had just bought something that you really
couldn't afford... THAT'S GOD...he knows the desires of your heart, and
he'll mess around with your head that way...

Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to
get better, but now you look back on it...GOD did absolutely nothing for
you, but you survived to see a brighter day...

(From Syber Moonlight)
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like
having sex or masturbating?...THAT'S GOD...he makes you horny through the
Holy Spirit.

Has your bank every really screwed up your checking account, causing you to
bounce checks all over the place and basically wish you were dead? That's
God. He doesn't want you to become too attached to your material
possessions and wants you to know that you can only, ever, rely on Him.

Have you ever had a horrible fight with your family, which led to decades of
estrangement? That's God. Yup, those who don't hate their families will
never get to spend eternity in heaven with him, and He's just helping things
along.

Ffrom Darrel)
Have you ever been just sitting there and
all of a sudden you feel like doing something
nice for someone you care for...that's friendship.

Have you ever been down and out and nobody
seems to be around for you to talk to...that's
one of those days

Have you ever been thinking about somebody
that you haven't seen in a long time and then
next thing you know you see them or receive a
phone call from them...that's good old-fashioned
luck.