The Silent Whales of Lunar Sea
gentle readers. Here is the little story I wrote about my cats,
it seems that the original file was lost with the updating of the
Island. Well I have had a few requests for this, and to be honest,
until now, I have been lazy ass boy. But here is the story once
more. I hope you enjoy it the second time around!
afternoon, I was sitting on the couch minding my own business. My
two cats were being cats, running around the living room trying
to kill each other. Boo-boo is the small pretty grace filled feline,
a Russian Blue. Spot, is the male cow of a cat with the grace of
a water buffalo. A mixed everyday house cat, Spot looks like any
other cat, save his back paw is a little deformed. Well anyway...
they were running about chasing each other, or I should say Spot
would get brave and chase Boo until Boo turned around with that
look we all know as cat lovers.... the "Keep it up, and you
die painfully," look.
Well, Spot got to close and was swiped by the
razor sharp claws of Boo. I heard the typical meow and growl, and
Spot went under the couch. Boo left the room. As Spot came out from
under the couch, he was breathing hard. So for fun a smacked his
rear end playfully. He looked right at me and said as plain as day
"Stupid bastard! Bad enough that bitch hits me... and you too??"
WHAT?? I mean I about lost it there. Spot actually spoke to me in
a language I understood. What the hell is going on here?
With a little bored look Spot began again to
"You know, I have always been able to talk.
But I really don´t talk around you all. But now that you know
I feel better, and really need to talk to you.."
"Okay, I do not believe this is happening
but, sure talk away Spot..." I said with the flat voice of
one who has no idea what is going on.
"Good, now listen up. Princess is planning
to kill mommy-thing." Spot said this calmly as if I had a clue
about who was who.
"Who is Princess? What is a mommy thing?
Spot you are making no sense what so ever."
"Look ass boy, mommy-thing is the mommy-thing.
You know the one that is mean to me, and loves the Princess? And
you know who Princess is by the way. You call her Boo-boo. Anyway,
she wants the mommy-thing dead because love-food-god loves mommy-thing
more than the Princess." Spot looked deadly serious as he told
me this news.
"Wait, I am supposed to believe that Boo
wants the wife dead, and that I am a god, and she is jealous of
my wife? You have got to be kidding, this is not real. I am losing
it in a bad way.... where´s my bible?" Reaching over
for the bible I found a little scrap of paper with what looked like
claw marks. The claw marks were actually well placed in a sort of
a pattern. Scrunching my brow as I looked over the paper, Spot plopped
down beside me, and began to read what was supposedly the writing
"Mommy-thing comes home on Friday early
,feeds us, plays with me and tries to be all nice. I know that bitch
hates me, and wants the love-food-god all for herself. When she
takes water-thing, she uses the loud-hot-gun on her fur.... this
will be next to water-box. I know from love-food-god, that water-box
and loud-hot-gun do not go together. I will make loud-hot-gun fall
into water-box when mommy-thing waters her fur. Then I will have
love-food-god all to myself. After mommy-thing is gone, all I have
to do next is remove fat-cow-boy and then love-food-god is all mine!!
All I will eat is Sheba and the good Kitte Kat foods...not the dry
nasty foods of the mommy-thing." Spot droned on.
Well it seems as if my Boo-boo is a killer cat.
She had this all planned out, almost to the last detail. I asked
Spot why he was telling me this, and he just said that he likes
us both, and that Boo-boo is a nut case, and talks to herself. She
scares Spot. Well nuff said I guess.
Later that day, I found Boo-boo sitting on the
window sill, resting in the sun. I grabbed her, and asked her nicely
if she wanted to kill the wife. I looked at her, she just sat there
looking at me all crazy like. As if she wanted to say, "You
idiot, cats cannot talk... time for the looney bin." But, I
was not buying it, I showed her the paper with her plans, on it,
and told her how the fat-cow-boy told me all about her plan to kill
The next thing I know Boo-boo looks me dead in
the eye, and says "The silent whales of lunar sea."
The last thing I remember is her claws and blood,
and I woke later in a pool of my blood... scratch marks on my face.
The bath water was running............