Weekly Jesus Scope!! 19th October.


  • By Brother Squirrel

  • Well gentle reader, it was brought to my attention that the faithful do not have a wondrous thing like the horoscope in their lives, so I bring you the Jesus Scope!! Now you will not be left out, and can have god tell you how to think even more than you do now!!! And you do not have to be a heathen to boot!!! Weeeeee!!!!

  • Weekly Birthdays for Oct. 19th to 26th:

  • Exodus 21:7 Need extra money? I mean who donīt right? You need a little cash, and those kids of yourīs really pissing you off gentle reader? WELL god has the answer!!! ..Exodus 21:7 7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.
    Plain and simple, god wants you to sell your daughter!!! Now you can buy that there Sunday dress you always wanted!! Invite god in today!

  • Exodus  35:2 Well gentle reader, tired of your husband or wife always working on the Sabbath? Me to. Well god again has answered your questions and has the solution!!! Exodus 35:2 says:  2 Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death.   So go ahead and kill them!!   Gotta Love GOD!!! Do you have Jesus yet? Get em now!!

  • Psalms 137:9  Again gentle reader, looking for happiness? I mean true happiness? Well once again god never fails to give you the answer. Take godīs advice and do what he tells you. This also ties in with another question about kids. But that will come later. So go out and grab you a kid and throw it to the rocks till dead!!!! Psalms 137:9 says:  9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.  WOW! The secret of happiness gentle reader!! Spot on with this one huh? Now you see the love of god here, and I know you want that in YOUR life!!!! Jesus is there for you my gentle reader!

  • Deut 22:5  Well you have just found out your son likes to wear woman's clothing! A massive shock is it not gentle reader? What ever should you do? Lets ask god how he feels about this okay?...Deut 22:5 says :
    5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.
    Well now just kill him gentle reader. Abominations to god are a bad thing!!!  You sooooo need Jesus today!

  • 1 Cor  1:20  Again gentle reader, tired of people knowing more about the bible than you do? I mean god tells YOU what the bible really means, and Jesus is your study partner. Right? But you still feel silly and stupid when you meet some of those evil evil atheists huh? Well god tells you this gentle reader... 1 Cor  1:20  says:                  20 Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
    WOW!!! Again Jesus solves your problem and guides you!!!! Just say that wisdom is plain foolishness!!!!

  • Lev 20:13  Damn gays just go against the nature of things huh? Bisexuals to if ya think about it. God hates fags or? I mean come one gentle reader he wants us to kill them. Just look at Levitcus 20:13           13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Well rest assured that god wants this, and you will not be in the wrong, that little commandment about not killing is just to be ignored here. Praise GOD!!

  • 1 Cor. 14:34-35 Your wife getting uppity on you at church? Does she embarrass you by knowing more bible than you? Does she turn James 1:26 around and get you with it? Well smack her with this pearl of wisdom gentle reader!!! 1 Cor  14:34-35 says :   34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
    35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

    Straight from the mouth oīgod!!! Never be made a fool of by that mean old better knowing the bible wife!!!! Teach her her place gentle reader!!!!

  • Well gentle reader, that is all the wisdom that god has for you this week, stay tuned for more god like know how, that will give you a deeper insight to your life!!!!!

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