The Gospel Truth part 3
Welcome back to the Island gentle readers, for your pleasure I
have the next True Gospel news for you. This time we look at the
reasons for the intense hatred of figs that Jesus has. .
When Jesus was growing up in Bethlehem in the slums of the ghetto,
he had his brothers and sisters about him. Molly was the baby
sister, and Jesus´ favorite. One day while Molly was bringing
water up to the hut where they lived, a gang of rabid figs came
into the slum looking for action. This would normally not make
that big of a commotion, as fig gangs were very common in this
time. But this was a gang of violent figs. Looking for trouble
And they saw little Molly all alone, carrying water up to her
little hut. Molly was a happy little girl, full of smiles and
laughs, and would sometimes cock her head in a way and look
at you quizzically and ask the sweetest things. She loved Jesus,
and Jesus loved her. They were buddies. Mainly because she loved
Jesus as Jesus was.... she did not care that Jesus could not
cut it as a carpenter like dad. She did not care that Jesus
sometimes blacked out and spoke in a weird language saying weird
things like "snoootch to the noootches" and "beeeeotch
das mahchicken". Molly loved Jesus. All of Jesus´
other brothers and sisters thought he was a looner, and never
let him play in the peasant games. No kick the rat, no goat
cheese bongs, no hide the member, or nekkid leap frog.
Molly walks up to her hut..... as the figs close in. At first
there was nothing to be said.... the figs looked at Molly and
smiled. A smile that had doom written behind it. Molly smiles
back and asked if they would like a bit of water they looked
tired doing fig things and all. Moluk the head fig jumped up
to Molly and yelled, "you viper where is your money?"
Molly had no money, they were peasants ...daddy was a carpenter...Molly
told the fig t´she had no money.
This angered Moluk and he called his other figs in close. The figs
were carrying rocks...... "Now she dies" and the figs
stoned little Molly Christ, leaving here face down in her bucket
When Jesus found his little baby sister Molly dead by figs...
his heart tore inside. His power boiled to the front and called
for vengeance. A solemn silent Jesus walks out to his porch...
and looks in to the night sky and scream "I HATE FIGS"
"Forever more shall they be hunted and killed by my father
my wrath for the figs is nothing short of hellfire and torture",
but his buddy Peter asked Jesus "good master, why torment
your self with these figs,,,for they are not like unto you.
You are the lord and the figs must know this,,,,,,"
Jesus rebuked Peter for his silliness. THE FIGS PETER THE FIGS``!!!!!!!!
That is all there is for me know to kill figs in my fathers
name fig killer for god.......
Thus started Jesus´crusade to remove figs from our earth.
Finally moving out of the basement of the hut Jesus hooks up
with his friends Peter, Judas, John and Kenny, then they hit
Galilee and got Calvin and Hobbes ,Bert and Ernie, Spiderman
and the Flash, Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Now with his group of twelve Jesus sets out to kill all figs.
The fig hatred grows and grows. He hates figs..... and their
fig trees. And their little fig clothes. It started small, a
fig gang here, a fig gang there. Figs on guard duty..... taken
out..... figs sitting and reading the bible.... killed. the
fig temple was razed to the ground. Jesus was seen sitting out
side the temple of fig with fig entrails in his hands... rubbing
them all over his body. Being inside the fig..... be the fig.....
Jesus is the fig..... he knows the figs heart..... mean evil vile
filthy.....fig grew on jesus grew in jesus filled jesus with
the essence of the fig. Picturing Molly being killed by the
figs.... snapped the last string of sanity in Jesus... jesus
was possessed by the fig......
For the next three days.... Jesus killed as the fig wanted
him to. Feeling the gritty elation's of death by fig. It was
wondrous and the disciples was one with the death. Reaching
over to Judas Jesus gives him a fig from his mouth.........their
lips touch and a glance is made, filled with fig desire. In
fig soaked haze Jesus and his boys all dance nekkid and touch
themselves in this time of fig joy........and in the background
a word is half as if in a dream a ghostlike whisp....rikki tikki