The Creation of the World
Here we have a tale of creation. But not just any old tale.
No way... this is the Creation Squirrel style. Now, Christians
want me to believe their bible and the bullshit in it, so I
want Christians to believe my bible and the bullshit in it.
This is for theists that do not realize how stupid their bible
In the beginning was the Squirrel. Since the Squirrel was all,
there was nothing else. One day while the Squirrel was just
being, he decided to make a Tree. This Tree would be the tree
of all trees.
In His Tree the Squirrel made all the leaves and all the branches
perfectly. He saw that this was good. He saw that the Tree was
perfect in every way. Now he needed a place to show how perfect
the Tree was.
So He created a large area for the Tree. And set the Tree in
the middle. As He watched His Tree, and how perfect It was,
he noticed that the area around His Tree was not perfect enough
to show off His Tree, it was too dim. So the Squirrel made a
large light to shower the Tree with light, so He can see how
perfect His Tree was. But he also noticed that it was not good
to have the Tree always bathed in the Light. So he made a lesser
Light for the Tree to bask in.
He also noticed that next to the Tree, the area looked drab
and empty. And empty is not good, so He made green grass to
grow around the Tree. And with the grass he made the flowers
and all of the plants to grow with the Tree and help show how
perfect the Tree was.
Now His Tree was in a perfect place, with the perfect landscape,
and perfect lighting. All was good. Or was it?
The Squirrel noticed that there was no one to see how perfect
His Tree was. So He made other squirrels in His image to admire
and love His perfect Tree. Male and female he made them. Since
the Squirrel was all there was up until now, He was both male
and female. But since he wanted to do it His way, He made male
and female differently.
One squirrel in particular loved the Tree with all his heart.
His name was Squircifer, and he was the Squirrel's favorite
squirrel in all of His creation. He loved Squircifer, and made
him keeper of the Tree. But there was evil in Squicifer. Squircifer
decided one day to make the Tree his, and place himself above
Squirrel found out about this and stopped Squircifer from taking
the Tree. He kicked Squircifer out of the Land, along with all
of Squircifer's followers, which numbered one third of all the
But he still loved Squicifer, and made him a world like the
Land, with trees, but not any like the Tree. He also made other
squirrels for the Fallen ones to love and play with, so they
would not be lonely. But, as this was a punishment for His creation,
the Squirrel made other things in this new land as well....
terrible things that was not like the squirrels. These creatures
hunted and killed the squirrels as they pleased. As time drew
on, the terrible things eventually gained control and dominion
over the Land of the Fallen. The Fallen Squirrels eventually
forgot their past, and allowed the creatures to believe they
were in control of the Land of the Fallen. But there is a prophecy
among the Fallen: One day the Squirrel will come in vengeance
and punish the creatures and restore the Fallen to their rightful
place in the Tree, and Squircifer will be forgiven and partake
of the Nuts of Heaven.....