A Present!!                                

  • by Patriot Casey

  • Hit me.

    Did I ever tell you about squirrel girl whirl twirl? She was a transexual jewish whore whose father was a back ally abortionist back in the day. He used to get his wife pregnant then conduct abortion expieriments on her to hone his skills razor sharp like. The father eventualy decided to have a kid so he let his wife keep the one. He named him squirrel. Quite a cute little tike. All the drugs though, the ones that he force fed his wife, kinda fucked up the little lady so the kid was born with three arms. Yea, that third arm just sort of hung like a limp dick off his right shoulder. Eventually the kid decided that he wasn't very comftorable with his sexuality and when that kid grew up to be a fine young man he went out and paid a quack doctor twenty bucks to hack that useless piece of meat right off and got a three month supply of hormones. Then he, she, oh whatever, became a jew somehow but, the details aren't very clear. That's just the way it is sometimes.

    Hey, hit me again. This shit doesn't last very long.

    Whoa, that one sure did the job! Ten thousand Barbie dolls screaming for sex in the park. They think that Ken oughta have a penis. Oh where is the justice in the world when male role models such as Ken is created as a nueter. I suppose it's to teach safe sex to young children. Can't get that girl pregnant if ya ain't gotta pecker! Hack that thing off! Perhaps the peaple who came up with the idea of Barbie had some issues with male genitals. Maybe, they were just into equal rights and thought that if Barbie couln't have one then Ken shouldn't either. This is a serious issue that should be openly discussed in class tomorrow. I don't know. Is there any left?

    Hit me, yea do it again. Oh man, hit me! Yea, yea. Oh shit man, I think I'm gonna shit myself.

    I took this dump the other day and I swear that it left me feeling violated. It wasn't was of those biscuit turds that make you feel fresh afterwards. No, it was more like grits. I think that there was something crawling around in it too. I dunno though. I sort of stirred it around a little with the toilet brush to get a better view because I heard that you really should examine your fecies. But, I don't think that there was anything out of the ordinary. I mean, those worms are normal right? Don't they eat the bacteria or something? Hey, I'm getting kinda hungry. Ya got anything to eat? A burrito would be nice.

    Hit me will ya.

    So what about freedom of speach. Don't you think that sometimes peaple just go out of their way to be nasty and vulgar just for the sake of offending nice, churchgoing, lawful, taxpaying peaple like us and then go hiding behind that thing about freedom of speach? I don't know. Those peaple oughta be drug out into the street then openly executed for all our children to see. There is nothing better for young eyes to see than a good oldfashioned public execution! It's not really murder is it, when there is a valuable lesson behind it that everyone can learn from? Censorship was created for a reason you know? Anyways, I hav'ta go now and meet Rosco down at the train station. You don't mind if I take some of this with me do you?


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