You Might Be A Fundy If Page 3!!

  • These saying were in a way inspired by Jeff Foxworthy's You Might Be A Redneck If series, this is a collection of the sayings from our Ex-Chrisitan List, and is rather long, but worth the read gentle reader!!! Should you have any sayings you would like to add the here just send them to here: All that I ask is that they be original, if they are a copy of whatever is here already, I will not add them, sorry.

Check out pages one and two!! Updated 16th April!!

You go to church not really to hear the sermon or to fellowship with your fellow sheep but actually to wear that new dress you bought and show that deacon's wife that she isn't REALLY all that!

if you've ever grabbed a teenager in the middle of a church service and suddenly decided now was the time to cast those demons out while the tide of the spirit is high ... and truly believe it was an act of love ...

Spoken in tongues in a church service although there was no one to act as an interpreter.

You've ever read a book or seen a movie, such as Star Wars, the Chronicals of Narnia or The Lord of The Rings and sworn the author was using a metaphore or parable discribing a biblical event or phylosophy ...

You've ever wanted to burn your child's priceless First Edition collectable mint condition Kiss albums or Dungeons and Dragons books in hopes of forcing them to hear them demonically scream as they burn.

You really believe that KISS stands for Knights (or Kings) In Satan's Service

You believe that although the doctor prescribed a beer a night for your husband as a cheap way to flush a bladder infection ... it's still a sin

Your friend sits hours with you, detailing inconsistancies and outright contradictions in the bible, proves scientifically and historically beyond a doubt that some things could not have happened the way they are written ... and you still parot on that the bible is perfect and is the only book ever written that does not contradict itself.

Your faith is stronger than any logic of man

You've ever sent your child Stryper albums in the mail because it's "simillar" to the kind of music he/she listens to in hopes of weaning them away from that secular devil music they're used to.

You've ever based a major life decision on a personal
"word of knowledge" from a visiting evangelist.

After hearing a sermon on the evils of "solo sex," you
avoid touching yourself "down there" for weeks....
(inadvertantly making the temptation stronger--and the
inevitable backsliding that much more gratifying!)

And, a follow-up to "You think that martial artists
break boards with demonic power."

...but the "Power Team" does it using the power of
Almighty Gawd.

you think your Social Security number is really the
mark of the beast

you call your child's teacher a "godless heathen" for taking them to an
archeaological dig.

you didn't see the big deal about carrying "AIDS Cures Fags" signs to
Matthew Shepard's funeral.

you think San Francisco is really a gateway to hell.


you think homosexuals and pro-choicers are the reason the twin towers


you actually believe Marylin Manson IS the Antichrist.

you love everyone, but will be glad anyway when God kills all those evil

you see no problem with the argument, "Jake is right because the book
says he's right, and Jake says the book is right so therefore it must be
right, which is why you shouldn't eat lobster."


(Continued from above) In fact, you might be a fundie if you can understand
that but can't understand why the heathens give you funny looks when you
knock on their door at 6:00 in the morning with religous literature.


you refuse to let your 14 year old daughter see
Chocolat, but had no problem reading her the story of Lot's daughters raping
him when she was 7.

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